Nature’s Habits

I’m most relaxed when I am in a storm. I watch a pure darkness unfold. The clouds roll in and take over the sun with their majestic battle cries of thunder, as lightning strikes with ferocity. This is not a war of hate or of conflict, instead it  shows  our Creator’s wild imagination.

Sitting on the blacktop outside my house, I am soaked to the bone. Rain bounces off my face and clothes. As happy as a pig in mud I enjoy this innocent battle. I take it all in with a sense of peace, knowing my God is in control and I am powerless in nature’s habits.

Freezing cold, I run inside, dry off and put on my fuzzy pajama pants that are three sizes too big and a warm jacket. I snuggle down on the living room couch with a nice hot cup of Earl Grey tea, which just happens to be my favorite, and the third book in the Harry Potter series. As the earth’s way of crying continues, I drink my tea like the earth drinks in the sky’s tears. It is not a sad crying; it’s a joyful weeping, connecting sky with ground.

Eventually, the gray warriors retreat from the earth’s ceiling, revealing a stunning shade of blue. The sky knows its color is too incredible to look away; its beauty traps my gaze. Warmth floods my heart as I watch God’s masterpiece  and I think how lucky I am to be privy to my Saviors ravishing artwork.

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Perfect Imperfections

     We women look at ourselves and demand every feature to be beautiful. We see ourselves as “Eh, I’m ok”, or “Oh my goodness! I am so fat”, sometimes even “I’m hideous.”

     Why is that? It’s because we take every detail on our faces and bodies and search for the uglies. Taking in all our beauty at once, people see someone captivating. They do not normally investigate our appearances, looking for unattractive things about us. When we look at ourselves we only see the mistakes in our makeup, our acne showing in certain places, or perhaps the way our clothes fit. We see our hair is flat in one spot or flipping weird in another.

     We strive for perfection, right? Then why do we not give ourselves the chance to see our own beauty? When it comes down to it, we women really look at ourselves with disapproval. Putting on makeup is supposed to make us feel lovely, yet as soon as we finish, we go inspect our faces like detectives searching for clues, going over every detail to see what is wrong, what needs to be fixed, and what we can add to make it truly perfect. Makeup is supposed to compliment your natural beauty, not create an entire new image of what the world tells us is appealing. We want to be known as beautiful, yet we never give ourselves the chance to see our own beauty because we are to busy looking for our imperfections.

     Being beautiful is so overrated.

     When getting ready to go out somewhere, we look at ourselves in the mirror and what do we see? We see a short, average height, or tall girl, who is too chubby or too skinny. We see our supposedly crazy frizzy or ridiculously straight hair that we can do nothing with. We see our skin is uneven or not tan enough. Maybe you think you have way too many freckles or maybe you want more.

     Looking at our eyes we complain that they are not striking enough. We see dull eyes with no brilliant color. When our heart’s dream to see startling eyes so clearly unique in their color that it makes everyone else green with envy. We glare at our noses because to us it is either huge, small, pointy, or round. To us women it is out of place and annoying. Our lips and teeth are also not perfect in any way. Maybe you really want to have full pink lips and straight teeth but all you see are too big or too small lips and crooked teeth. Some of us have round faces and others have oval faces. But, to you, your face is too chubby. You want more defined cheek bones or jaw line.

     When the mirror’s reflection reveals my smile, personally, I always want to frown.

     You see what we do, right? We described every single feature as atrocious on our faces. We have nothing nice to say about our appearances. If we want to be known as beautiful, how are others supposed to think we are pretty if we can not even see it for ourselves?

     Confidence is attractive and we have just made ourselves the most self-conscious humans in the world. Did we have to point out all the uglies? No! But as women we did. Why? Because it’s a natural habit. We are so used to just seeing ourselves as nothing. Women who do not turn heads when we walk by.

     I have never thought of myself as beautiful. But I don’t need to. Neither do you. Because, if we feel like the most hideous people alive, I know one person who thinks we are stunning. He loves every imperfection unconditionally. He thinks we are all ravishing. We are absolutely gorgeous in His eyes. In fact, He made us. So, to Him every imperfection is a masterpiece.

     He is God.

     God thinks you, yes you, are completely perfect with every mistake in your makeup. Even without makeup, you are beautiful. The God of everything made you exactly how you are meant to be. You are in his own image. He does not care that your hair is frizzy or flat. It does not matter to Him that you have uneven skin and a few wrinkles or freckles. He loves you just the way you are.

     Kind of builds your confidence doesn’t it?

Seeping into Fiction

Books are mini escapes. They take me away for a while, from the desperate emotions of my own life. I can live through the feelings of a fictional character. As the sentences pull me in with every inked word, I let my heart and mind seep into the paper. I beg these flimsy pages to accept me, let me in, and hold me for a few hours. I open this portal to another world wearing a huge comfy sweatshirt and holding a single cup of hot tea. Two sugars and cream, please. This is my paradise, however long I choose to read.

Reading a book is like having split lives. Part of me is on the couch and the other part absorbed in the pages. I live on earth and in the chapters. It is wonderful and beautiful. I open a book and it welcomes me home. Books take me in, no matter what.

Warm and cozy, I take the story and make it my own. Books are unchangeable and constant. They will never let me down. No matter what the book is about, it stays in my grasp. I live in the excitement of each book I read.

Every day is a new adventure, a new journey, a new page to turn. What could be better? A book is a symbol of me, its my very soul written in pages. What I read I become. I write myself in, becoming one with my paper half.